Seriously, these are so over-rated. The candy usually tastes
awful for a start. They are often uncomfortable (especially when the elastic
pings back when your lover snaps a piece off with his teeth) and are full of
sugar which can lead to a sticky mess, which can also result in a yeast
infection. Mmmm… Sexy.
No, no, no! “Happy Valentines, hunny. Now go in the kitchen
a cook me something to eat!”
These novelty kitchenware items are meant for YOU to use to
cook her something special, NOT as gifts! But even then, I can’t say I’d be
overly impressed with a heart shaped egg for breakfast. I’d be more impressed at
the fact that he could cook an egg well for breakfast!
Also, cookery books are a big no-no.
3 – Gift Certificates
Nothing says “I love you” like a 25% off coupon for a wine
selection from a website you’ve never heard of before. (Be honest, it just came
with some junk mail you got in the post, didn’t it?) Oh… wait. Actually, there
are plenty of things that say the three magic words far better than that!
4 – Gag Gifts
A good sense of humour is something that many women like in
a man - please note that I said good humour.
Want Valentines Day to end with some good ol’ sex? Don’t buy
her porn! It might turn you on, and it might turn you on to have her watch it
too, but you might never get sex again if you present a smutty DVD to her.
If you are going to buy a card, please don’t leave it blank.
A blank card says “I couldn’t be bothered to write in this, and I might be able
to use the card another time!” You don’t have to write a luvvy duvvy poem or
announce your undying love in writing, but leaving it blank is just rude, really.
Candy underwear... that's on my 'no gifting' list for every other day of the year too. Looks so tacky and uncomfortable lol
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